Unimportant Things

My name is Ryan Brenner and this is where I attempt to seem hip, funny, and/or insightful.

I like making jokes and writing. I like pop culture and brief sentences.

You can stalk me more effectively by reading my Facebook profile or my Twitter feed.

My Website is pretty cool too.

Posts tagged Pop culture

Oct 25

Me Having a Conversation With the Song "Fireflies" by Owl City

  • Song: You would not believe your eyes if ten million fireflies lit up the world as I fell asleep.
  • Me: You're absolutely right, that would be ridiculous. Actually, it would probably be the most awe-inspiring thing I've ever seen or ever will see.
  • Song: 'Cause they'd fill the open air and leave teardrops everywhere. You'd think me rude but I would just stand and stare.
  • Me: Okay, for starters, no, I wouldn't think you rude in the slightest. I've already confessed that the sight of these fireflies would likely be one of the most incredible things imaginable, and now you're acting as if I'd somehow take offense if you took the time to take them in, instead of doing what you were already doing, which was sleeping? What kind of shitty person would I have to be to find that impolite?
  • Song: I'd like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly.
  • Me: What? Why? What the hell does that have to do with the fireflies? Or anything, for that matter?
  • Song: It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, 'cause everything is never as it seems.
  • Me: You alright, dude? Suddenly you sound borderline suicidal.
  • Song: 'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs as they tried to teach me how to dance.
  • Me: That's quite possibly the single gayest sentence I've ever heard, but it certainly doesn't seem like a reasonable cause for suicidal ideation. Also, how and why did you decide that only one in ten fireflies would opt to hug you?
  • Song: A foxtrot above my head, a sock hop beneath my bed, a disco ball is just hanging by a thread.
  • Me: Now you've lost me.
  • Song: I'd like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 'cause everything is never as it seems when I fall asleep.
  • Me: Back to this again? Listen, I looked it up: the world is turning at around 1,040 miles per hour at the equator. Hardly a slow speed. And why would you even want it to turn any slower? I imagine the consequences of Earth's rotation slowing by even a fraction would be catastrophic for the ecosystem and all life on the planet. Maybe you'd rather just believe misinformation? Sorry, but I really don't get it.
  • Song: Leave my door open just a crack. (Please take me away from here.) 'Cause I feel like such an insomniac. (Please take me away from here.)
  • Me: Jesus Christ, did you just ask me to take you away? Are you in trouble? Stop screwing around with this fireflies bullshit - if you need help, please, just say so.
  • Song: Why do I tire of counting sheep (Please take me away from here.) when I'm far too tired to fall asleep?
  • Me: Okay, I heard that. I'm calling the police.
  • Song: To ten million fireflies, I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes, I got misty eyes as they said farewell...
  • Me: Hello? 911? I've got a guy here and based on the way he's talking it seems as if he may be having a stroke. Yes. No, he just now started asking me to "take him away." I think he's suicidal. Please hurry.
  • Song: But I'll know where several are if my dreams get real bizarre. 'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar.
  • Me: It seems as if his hallucinations are getting more serious. I'm gonna get you help, buddy, don't worry. Just keep talking about the fireflies, the ambulance is on the way. The fireflies are probably gonna die in that jar if you don't poke some holes in it, though.
  • Song: Why are you still talking to me? I'm over three years old. Maybe you're the one who needs help.
  • Me: Those aren't the lyrics. Shut up.

Oct 5
patrickcassels:

Jeff Rubin was not only kind enough to let me crash his wonderful podcast The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show for an ALL NEW bonus episode about one of my favorite shows, Breaking Bad, he also joined me and Entertainment Weekly’s Darren Franich for the in-depth discussion of the drama’s outstanding fourth season. Join us for a talk about all things Breaking Bad: the game-changing last 10 minutes of “Crawl Space,” what we can possibly expect from this Sunday’s finale, and how Gus Fring is Breaking Bad’s Ben Linus.
You can listen to the episode at The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show website, or download it at iTunes. (Needless to say, the podcast contains considerable Breaking Bad spoilers.)

Guys, your views about Breaking Bad and LOST overlap with mine EXACTLY. The night after Crawl Space aired, I had a conversation with my friends in which I said “Breaking Bad is an objectively better show than LOST, but LOST will always have a special place in my heart,” and then I listen to this podcast and hear you guys have that exchange verbatim.
This was the best JRJR podcast. More like this, please.

patrickcassels:

Jeff Rubin was not only kind enough to let me crash his wonderful podcast The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show for an ALL NEW bonus episode about one of my favorite shows, Breaking Bad, he also joined me and Entertainment Weekly’s Darren Franich for the in-depth discussion of the drama’s outstanding fourth season. Join us for a talk about all things Breaking Bad: the game-changing last 10 minutes of “Crawl Space,” what we can possibly expect from this Sunday’s finale, and how Gus Fring is Breaking Bad’s Ben Linus.

You can listen to the episode at The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show website, or download it at iTunes. (Needless to say, the podcast contains considerable Breaking Bad spoilers.)

Guys, your views about Breaking Bad and LOST overlap with mine EXACTLY. The night after Crawl Space aired, I had a conversation with my friends in which I said “Breaking Bad is an objectively better show than LOST, but LOST will always have a special place in my heart,” and then I listen to this podcast and hear you guys have that exchange verbatim.

This was the best JRJR podcast. More like this, please.

(via jeffrubinjeffrubin)